Mid-Shore Life

Anticipation!  by Carolyn Smith-Kennedy

My parents live in a senior high rise apartment.  I moved them there six years ago when Mother was in hospital and I was told that she would come home in a wheelchair.  Luckily she did not, but I also feel fortunate that we moved to the senior building.  It is not assisted living.  They are on their own with lots of help from family and caregivers.  This is their desire.  They cannot afford an assisted living facility and do not want to be in a nursing home.  My desire is to keep them together and as comfortable as possible for as long as possible--thus, my constant search for resources.

Recently, the visiting nurse from the Department of Health suggested to me that I make an emergency kit for my parents.  She even gave me a list of items to make sure were on hand and said they needed to be in a duffel bag or some other container.  I thought that was a good idea but I didn’t do it exactly as she said I should.  I did, however, check the pantry, the medicines and the toiletry cabinet to make sure plenty of supplies were on hand.

The most disturbing thing about this big snow storm hitting the Northeast, however, is that the caregivers most likely will not be able to get to my parents for a few days.  That means they have no one to fix their meals.  They will most likely muddle through even though it will be difficult.  Neither can walk without an aid.  They have matching rolling walkers with a seat.  Mother cannot hear and he cannot see well due to macular degeneration.   But at 90 and 94, they both have sharp minds.

The thing is – even if I had put together a kit in a duffel bag, they wouldn’t be able to use it.  Their medicine stays in one place on the kitchen counter – each in their own monthly pill container.   There are pull cords that sound an alarm at the local emergency 911 center in case a catastrophe occurs. Mother has a “Lifeline” bracelet connected to an emergency service.   My daughter did a shop at the grocery store in anticipation of the snow and the expectation that roads would be impassable for a day or two.

I phoned to make sure the apartment management had a backup generator in case the power goes off.  I talked to my Mother several times on the phone making sure they could get their evening meal together and that they had a flashlight at the ready just in case.  Yet, here I am 1,000 miles away thinking of so many other things I could have done to deal with an emergency.  I was thinking today that the apartment building residents should have a “buddy” system so that they check on each other even if it is just by phone.  My parents rely on family and assigned caregivers and don’t even know their neighbors in the next apartment.  But I could have made some arrangement. 

The bottom line is that each individual’s needs and abilities vary.  Analyzing your elderly loved ones capabilities and making an emergency plan can go a long way toward peace of mind for everyone.  There are many resources these days that give advice on preparing for an emergency, whether it is a hurricane, a snow storm, a fire, or some other horrifying experience.  The Federal Government gives tips on survival at http://www.ready.gov.  The AARP website also has some useful information.  (http://www.aarp.org)  The important thing is to know what your loved ones can do if left on their own for a day or two and to anticipate, anticipate, anticipate.

Carolyn Smith-Kennedy writes about caring for elderly loved ones.  She can be reached at carolynkennedy9@aol.com