Wild Game Hunting - In my Kitchen!

Thrill of the Hunt!!Thrill of the Hunt!!

by Cyndi Paxton Johnson

I carefully pick my way through the underbrush, my eyes always alert for signs of my prey. I see one! Stealthily I approach, line up the beast in my sights and.....STRIKE! Success!! I am triumphant - but not for long. Another beast catches my eye. I sigh.

One fly down....4,367 left to go.

What is it with flies in 1900 house kitchens??? Did they lay eggs in the floorboards a century ago? What is one woman to do?

Introducing...Rambo-Momma. She leaps, she strikes, turns and strikes again. My kitchen is a battle-zone, littered with the bloody carcasses of the million flies I have slain since breakfast.

Not bad for a bleeding heart liberal who refused to use mouse traps and pretended hamburger was magically deposited, neatly wrapped, in the grocery store each day. (sort of like a chicken laying an egg, perhaps?)

Then I moved to the country. To a very old, very drafty country house. The first thing I noticed was....the mice. I asked them, very nicely, to please leave. Have you ever seen a mouse laugh?

I brought cats into my home. Country cats - who should know which end of a mouse is which! Indeed, the cats enjoyed the mice - fantastic play toys! One feline would deposit her plaything in the deep bathtub to keep it for later. Now there's a cat who plans ahead! Another cat preferred the "mouse as baseball" game. My husband was the unwitting shortstop one night when he caught a glimpse of something flying towards his head. He yelled and threw his body sideways while the mouse splatted the wall behind his chair. The cat was a bit miffed that Daddy hadn't caught her fly ball!

I've done everything I could to control mice naturally. I graciously let the blacksnakes live under our house. We added chickens to the backyard - between us and the field. Every time we find a possible access point - we patch it.

Yet I'll still find mouse droppings in my cabinets and on my kitchen counter. Can you say, "UGH...EEEK....BLECK!!!!" ??? I've admitted defeat, and am adding the lovely green poison chew bars in dark corners. I'm hoping that will get the mice out of my kitchen.

Now I need poison chew bars for the flies!!!! Or perhaps a shotgun?

Rambo-Momma, woman on the edge!

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