Mid-Shore Life

by Carolyn Kennedy

What is the definition of “old age”?  What about “elderly”?   Like many other subjects, you can do a search on the Internet and find all kinds of theories and answers.  According to the World Health Organization (WHO), most developed countries have accepted the chronological age of 65 years as a definition of ‘elderly’ or older person.

Various entities use other ages to define older.  For example, I live in an “over 55 community”.  Most of these communities have explicit descriptive names such as “Legacy”, “Del Web”, etc.  Others use more generic titles such as “age restricted”, “active adult”, 55+ or lifestyle communities.  As far as I can tell, the benefit of living in these communities is no kids, no bicycles lying on the pavement, no playgrounds, less noise.  There is also more opportunity for lunches out and bus trips.

Moreover, there are other benefits to getting older such as the “senior discount” at movies, coffee shoppes, McDonalds and elsewhere.  I believe these offers target the older person not the elderly.  Of course, although I am getting older, I’m not yet elderly!!

It is a proven thought that the older people get, the longer they think it takes for a person to reach “old age”.  Heaven forbid that old age should begin at 55.  According to a study done recently most women say old age begins at age 70, while men, on average, say that old age begins at 66.

by Carolyn Kennedy

When caring for an elderly loved one, it is important to understand their medicines both prescribed and over the counter.  According to an article at http://www.medicinenet.com , pain is the number one complaint of older Americans, and one in five older Americans takes a painkiller regularly. In 1998 the American Geriatrics Study (AGS) issued guidelines for the management of pain in older people.

AGS panel members recommend that, whenever possible, patients use alternatives to aspirin, ibuprofen and other NSAIDS due to side effects of those particular drugs, including stomach irritation and gastrointestinal bleeding.  For older adults, acetaminophen is the first-line treatment for mild-to-moderate pain. 

Acetaminophen has been available for pain relief since 1951.  It is used for the relief of fever as well as aches and pains associated with many conditions.  If you research acetaminophen on the Internet, you will read that although it relieves pain, it has no effect on the underlying inflammation, redness and swelling of the joint.

by Carolyn Smith-Kennedy

Someone once said:  “If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.” Indeed even the great-granddaughters still ask my Mother how to make certain dishes.  Mother once was a very good cook and probably still would be if she could make it into the kitchen.  Her meals weren’t fancy but they sure were tasty. 

Mother was able to prepare delicious meals well into her 80’s.  A few years ago, however, it became clear to me that cooking was becoming a challenge and possibly a risk for her.  She did not give it up easily.

One of the first services I enrolled my parents in when it became clear that Mother could no longer cook as she had been was Meals on Wheels.  MOW is a wonderful resource available in most areas.  Just do a search online to find the Meals on Wheels location nearest you.  You do have to apply for the service but the application process is not too complicated.

by Carolyn Kennedy 

Caring for elderly loved ones often becomes a balancing act.  You must balance your life and comforts against theirs.  If you are employed you may at times have to miss several days on the job because your parents need your time, have a doctor appointment, or an unexpected need arises.

My husband and I try to live most of the winter months in Florida.  We are of the age where people start to say “at your age”, though we like to think we are in the prime of life.  Even a cool Florida feels good in January and February when the snow is falling in the North.  My elderly parents live in a northeastern state.  The Blizzards of 2010 created some challenges for keeping them safe and comfortable.

During the first storm in February, they were on their own.  They both rely on a walker to move around and because Mother is very frail and Father has macular degeneration, it is difficult for them to even prepare meals.  Fortunately we have caregivers who are there every day to prepare meals. 

Anticipation!  by Carolyn Smith-Kennedy

My parents live in a senior high rise apartment.  I moved them there six years ago when Mother was in hospital and I was told that she would come home in a wheelchair.  Luckily she did not, but I also feel fortunate that we moved to the senior building.  It is not assisted living.  They are on their own with lots of help from family and caregivers.  This is their desire.  They cannot afford an assisted living facility and do not want to be in a nursing home.  My desire is to keep them together and as comfortable as possible for as long as possible--thus, my constant search for resources.

Recently, the visiting nurse from the Department of Health suggested to me that I make an emergency kit for my parents.  She even gave me a list of items to make sure were on hand and said they needed to be in a duffel bag or some other container.  I thought that was a good idea but I didn’t do it exactly as she said I should.  I did, however, check the pantry, the medicines and the toiletry cabinet to make sure plenty of supplies were on hand.

The most disturbing thing about this big snow storm hitting the Northeast, however, is that the caregivers most likely will not be able to get to my parents for a few days.  That means they have no one to fix their meals.  They will most likely muddle through even though it will be difficult.  Neither can walk without an aid.  They have matching rolling walkers with a seat.  Mother cannot hear and he cannot see well due to macular degeneration.   But at 90 and 94, they both have sharp minds.

by Carolyn Smith-Kennedy

Perhaps one of the most difficult things we do in our adult life is take on the responsibility of managing the care of our parents.   For those who have in the past turned to their parents for help and guidance to get through life or even if you have been totally independent from your teen years, it is a shock to realize that they need your help.  In some cases, perhaps you have not been so close to your parents, either physically or emotionally but now you are the only one available to help them – and they need help!  There are all kinds of scenarios and circumstances and each person much analyze and deal with their own.

I, for example, have always (in my opinion) been close emotionally to my parents but not always physically in the same vicinity. He is actually my step-father but has been in our family for over 45 years since my birth father died at a young age. 

by Carolyn Smith-Kennedy

When caring for an elderly loved one it is always best to have a back-up plan. This was reinforced to me today when I learned that my elderly father withdrew cash from his checking account. Now you may think that is his right and indeed it is. However, I spent quite a bit of money a few years ago to set up Power of Attorney (at their request) for my parents. I am now the one responsible for their health and financial matters. It is up to me to make sure their bills are paid and they are getting the proper care.

Because I try to spend part of the winter months in Florida, I went to great lengths this fall to get my father to let his social security check be direct deposited. As a matter of fact, I had been trying for years to talk him into direct deposit but being a survivor of the Great Depression, he didn’t trust Uncle Sam to get his money into his checking account. He needed to go to the bank and make the deposit and come out with some cash in hand. Gradually over the last few years, that trip to the bank got more and more difficult. He now must use a walker to safely walk around and he has macular degeneration so he is visually impaired.