Confessions of an Un-Runner
I may or may not be running - but I'm always juggling! Three homeschooled children, assorted critters, a 1900's house of errors, a growing business and my own underdeveloped (yet no longer denied) dreams and ambitions... It's a crazy life... but it's MINE!
The Un-Runner
Smacking Suzy Sunshine – How to handle the Blues
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
Changing your life involves a LOT of positive thought and actions. It means starting and living your day with gratitude, making straight forward goals and visualizing those rosy-red results. But what happens when you just can’t be upbeat and positive? When you feel like smacking Suzy Sunshine and inviting her to try out YOUR life for a change?
We all get the deep blue funks from time to time – and we all deal with them differently. Some folks exercise (that’s WAY too healthy for me), others treat themselves to a spa day or special treat, and still others – like me – simply give myself permission to be sad/sick/depressed for a day or two – and indulge myself!
Life without Electricity - and Flush Toilets
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
It’s 8:30 at night and everything is dark and quiet. The oil lamp gives off barely enough light to read, the fire is glowing dimly in the woodstove, the candle in the next room is flickering rapidly as it prepares to extinguish itself. In the household of six , only three are awake – myself and two children. One child is cured by the fire, reading. The other is drawing in the dim light – creating his own worlds with paper and colored pencils.
It’s our second night without power. The entire neighborhood is affected – a felled tree took out a power line, and the snow is too deep to allow a repair truck access. Larger and larger equipment has been called into service – needed to dig out the smaller trucks that became wedged in the drifting snow. Hopefully sometime tomorrow we will rejoin the modern world and again have lights, refrigeration, electric stove and water. And working toilets – let’s not forget the working toilets! (especially since two out of three children have experienced “intestinal issues” during out black-out period.
Mother Nature's Dark Side
By Cyndi Paxton Johnson
I never knew the meaning of COLD until I moved into a 1900’s farmhouse. I’ve spent the last seven years building up an impressive collection of double-lined pants, fleecy pajamas, thick wool socks, and triple-weight sweats. When the temperature dips below 20 I’ve been known to wear them all simultaneously – to bed. Then I burrow under sheet, normal blanket, electric blanket, quilt THEN down-filled throw. I am one WARM, snuggly woman – even if I do need 3 pairs of socks to stay that way!
This year we moved into another house – no more drafts blowing through the walls. I was excited to finally, finally be warm through-out the winter. One problem solved.
That was my first mistake – thinking everything was perfect. That small piece of conceit awakened Mother Nature – who has serious control issues.
Exhibit A: the coldest, snowiest winter in fourteen years. (I’m choosing to take this as proof we did the right thing moving out of the 1900’s house – or we would be five human popsicles right now!) Still – this much snow is guaranteed to make even the warm blooded go diving for extra blankets.
Unless, of course, you’ve reached THE AGE.
Exhibit B: I speak, of course, of peri-menopause – and the infamous hot flashes. It started quickly – Mother Nature is one pushy broad. I was snuggled deep in my heavy pj’s, socks and multiple blankets. This was good. Then….without warning…it was TOO MUCH! The down comforter hit the floor first. The electric blanket was turned off and shoved aside. The two small dogs, snuggling for warmth, were kicked unceremoniously to the floor as sheets and blankets billowed with as much air as the Flying Nun’s wimple. The husband’s hand, usually enjoyed for its heat source (as well as the mushy love stuff) suddenly became a branding iron, trying to imprint itself upon my hip. (and if he complains to you about my pushing him away – remind him he’s just lucky he didn’t wind up on the floor with the dogs)
Trust in the Path
By Cyndi Paxton Johnson
Do you ever feel pulled in different directions – only to realize you’re doing all the pulling? There are SO many things you need to do, plus the things you SHOULD do – that there is rarely time for the things you WANT to do! You either spend all your time and energy on the “needs” and “shoulds” or, like me, you stand paralyzed at the crossroad, trying to decide which direction to take! (I have the same problem bowling – can NEVER pick up a split – the ball goes right down the middle!)
If this sounds familiar – the very first thing to do is get RID of the “shoulds”! Take a look at each one and see if it really belongs in a different category. For example: I have an elderly great aunt & uncle I SHOULD visit. Just phrasing it that way makes it sound like work. Instead, I’ll turn it around and realize why I WANT to visit them – because it will bring us all joy and sometimes there is no “later”. Go through each “should” – if one doesn’t move naturally into another category – release it. Don’t say you “can’t” do it (very disempowering word) – but realize you CHOOSE to do or not do something. Every time you make a conscious choice your world expands – and you grow to fill the void.
But even after you’ve eliminated the “should” – there’s a LOT let on your plate. How do you make time for the things you WANT to do?
The Life Organizer
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
I am ALWAYS striving to be more organized and efficient. (and yes, I hear Yoda's voice: Do or do not... there is no try !) And, as a self-proclaimed bibliophile (aka: book slut) I read a lot about ways to organize - starting with decluttering. The books say pretty much the same thing: pare down, find a home for everything, put everything away. (and yes - it IS the same thing my mother always told me)
This week I'm reading The Life Organizer: A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year by Jennifer Louden. This one's different, folks. There's no files and plastic boxes and printed labels. Rather, it's about getting in tune with your heart, your dreams, your passion - and listening to yourself and your body about what the next step should be. Since it's meant to be experienced over a year - I have no idea if it actually works (though the reviews were fantastic!). Still, I do feel more centered - and even more patient about interruptions. I feel like something's changing - hopefully for the better.
Unfortunately, I haven't been as compulsive about making my "to-do" lists. I wonder if Allstate will understand I was listening to my heart and not sweating the small stuff???
I think there's a middle road here somewhere.....lost in the fog. I'm open to advice - and will let you know what I eventually figure out!
In the meantime...where's that Allstate bill?
The Power of Gratitude!
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
It’s easy to be grateful when everything is going our way – there’s no talent in it. In fact, when things ARE going well we tend to become complacent, to take good news and good fortune for granted.
And then something happens that reminds us to appreciate every moment. This week the terrible reminder came in the form of a horrific earthquake in Haiti. The devastating loss of life from the quake has turned into the tip of the iceberg. Now people that survived the quake are dying from hunger, lack of drinkable water and simple injuries.
The Ping-Pong Life
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
It happens to most of us, at one time or another. We go through the motions of the day, feeling vaguely dissatisfied and slightly depressed. After awhile we become agitated and edgy, almost nervous as we wait for the “next thing”. The problem? We are spending our days striving to make other people happy, to meet others’ needs. We have neglected our own priorities in our effort to keep the peace – we may not even remember our own goals and ambitions.
We’ve become the Ping-Pong Ball. Others have all the control, we simply go where we are sent, mindlessly. Parents of infants and young children are quite familiar with this lifestyle – their days are spent in a constant state of meeting the next urgent need of their charge. Any long-term caregiver is at risk – and the world is now tuned into recognizing people in this situation and offering them support groups and respite care.
Organize Your Priorities – but Adapt to Life!
Everyone says the same thing – to change your life, change your priorities. It makes sense: if you insist on watching 8 hours of reality tv everyday, you probably won’t lose weight, get a degree, build a business or write that novel. Of course, just turning off the television won’t make those dreams magically happen, either. Realizing a dream requires organizing and prioritizing - and, in my case, a great deal of patience!
For example, my number one goal of this morning is to write this column. Simple, right? Except I’m also helping the kids with schoolwork, letting animals outside, answering the phone and working with my husband to get my computer to print. (which means I need to save everything and reboot any minute now). And then there’s housework, laundry and food preparation jumping up and down, demanding my attention. As much as I’d love a sound-proof office (surrounded by an electric fence) it’s just not my reality right now. My life involves a bunch of other people and animals that all need my time and attention – and yours probably does, too. So…what’s the solution?
A Christmas Tapestry
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
It's funny how a holiday that comes (like clockwork!) every year can remain unique and special, creating in us a myriad of emotions, good and bad. Looking back over the years it's been a roller coaster ride of holiday experiences - and I don't know that any particular ONE year stands out as being "the perfect Christmas". Rather, I believe it's the total lifetime holiday memories that meld together to give us that warm, fuzzy feeling we identify as "Christmas".
The young years were, of course, all about the STUFF. Like the tiny, orange television set I received in 5th grade. Rumors of the impending gift caused me to wake the household at 4am to get Christmas morning underway. I don't know why I was so excited - it was the first "privilege" to be revoked when I failed to satisfy - and it spent MUCH more time in my parents' closet than in my bedroom. Christmas day back then also meant visiting the relatives - all of them within driving distance, anyway - to ooh and ahh over their Christmas goodies.
The young adult years were also about STUFF - but now I was giving it. I shopped til I dropped, from New York City to Baltimore, and spent Christmas Eve wrapping gifts in a panicked frenzy. The holidays meant spending time with friends and family - traveling the roads to visit everyone on my list.
The religious years followed, when I busied myself with church and reaching out to others. Mixed in were the lonely years, the depressed years, the feeling like a failure years, when I pasted a smile on my face and counted the minutes til the festive season was over. Then there's the Black Christmases - the first one after the death of a loved one. When you go through the motions, and try hard not to cry until you're alone. They may not be the "Made for tv Holiday Special", but they're important memories in my Christmas tapestry.
Marriage and children changed the holiday yet again. Now it was my turn to make the magic, time to question if I was doing enough to make the holiday special for my children. Also known as the Guilt years.
Make a New Holiday Favorite - Pumpkin Chili!
by Cyndi Paxton Johnon
Even if your family isn't gung-ho for pumpkin they'll enjoy this flavorful chili - according to one of the PICKIEST family on the shore - MINE! This would also work in a slow cooker - if you're organized enough to get an early start!
Pumpkin Chili
Ingredients:
1lb of ground pork
1lb of small beef cubes
1 large onion, chopped
1 green or red pepper, chopped
1 T minced garlic
2 cans (15 oz) kidney beans, drained & rinsed
1 cup V-8 or tomato juice
1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, with juice
1-3 cups of pumpkin puree (I used 2+)
Smacking Suzy Sunshine – How to handle the Blues
by Cyndi Paxton Johnson
Changing your life involves a LOT of positive thought and actions. It means starting and living your day with gratitude, making straight forward goals and visualizing those rosy-red results. But what happens when you just can’t be upbeat and positive? When you feel like smacking Suzy Sunshine and inviting her to try out YOUR life for a change?
We all get the deep blue funks from time to time – and we all deal with them differently. Some folks exercise (that’s WAY too healthy for me), others treat themselves to a spa day or special treat, and still others – like me – simply give myself permission to be sad/sick/depressed for a day or two – and indulge myself!
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